| I am a product of war. |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|10:50 am] |
both sets of my grandparents met because of the war.
There's nothing to fear but fear itself. Why? Is it because fear just feels taxing and stressful and overall bad, or is it more complicated than that? Fear can make people do desperate things, but worst of all it can make us push so hard one way that the opposite ends up happening. Sometimes to avoid awkward situations (because we're fearful of them) we blurt out what it is that would be awkward in an attempt to get it out of the way. I do this too, it's a defense mechanism. I see this happening often with relationships. Someone likes someone but has been hurt so many times they come fourth on the first couple times talking about it and blurt out every single flaw they can muster because that means if the person still likes them after knowing all that there's a chance they won't leave. Is this really the way to go? Most people say no, it's too much at once and you'll scare them off either because you have too many problems or because you sound too down on yourself. In my opinion say what's important. You're terrified of lightbulbs? That one can wait. You're a very jealous person? Might want to mention that one. There will be time to bring out the little things, and later on it keeps it interesting. It's refreshing to find out something new about someone you've been with a long time. It's also a little scary because you thought you knew them and change is unnerving. I think finding a good balance between what you state upfront and what you withhold for the right moments is key.
goa new phone :) EnV2. EnV3 wasn't much more but I really didn't like it as much aethetically and the only other difference was a 3mp camera instead of 2mp, but that doesn't matter much to me. I say if you really want a quality photo buy a camera.
( photo )
|
|
|
| Our faces change so much from 17-22. |
[Jun. 13th, 2009|05:22 pm] |
Sometimes I feel like I ruin everything i touch, every person I get to know well. I struggle to master, no to even begin the art of letting go. I hold on too tight, terrified that if i loosen my grasp momentarily they will make decisions that ruin them and me. This is not the way to be. This helps to make everything I'm so afraid of come true. It's so sticky and uncomfortable and just hard to tear yourself from that kind of mindset and take a few steps back. To breathe and say, this person is a person. Their life is not mine to control or steal away. They can and will make their own decisions, many of them I may not agree with. Many of them may hurt me. It's not up to me.
I want so desperately to be a good human being. It seems so hard sometimes. I also feel like so many people don't care very much at all if they're good people or not or about doing the right thing. It's frustrating and disheartening how selfish we can be. Are most humans this way globally? Why are people like this? Why don't people want to be good, i mean really passionately want it, and live it.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
assirac's journal
(